A Scarred Heart
by Whomping Willow Tree
Summary: An illicit affair with a work associate threatens everything that is dear to Harry, which during the War he had done everything in his power to protect.
1. Disclaimer

_Written by_: Whomping Willow Tree  
  
_Title_: A Scarred Heart  
_Chapter Title_: Disclaimer  
  
_Characters_: Harry, Hermione  
_Genres_: Romance, Angst, and Drama  
  
**Rating**: R  
**Warnings**: Strong language, Scenes of a sexual nature, Contains spoilers, Strong violence  
  
_Summary_: An illicit affair with a work associate threatens everything that is dear to Harry, which during the War he had done everything in his power to protect. -- **Post Hogwarts** --  
  
**Disclaimer**: I own no legal rights to the Harry Potter series, books or films. It all belongs to JKR and Warner Brothers. Original characters are created by me, such as Natalie Cross, but really I don't want her 'cos she's nasty.  
  
**Note**: I used HP information provided by Lexicon 'cos I'm too lazy to look things up in the actual books. I'm no professional writer, just like writing for my own amusement. British spelling and grammar used.  
  
Thank you _all_ for reading my story.

* * *


	2. Happy Christmas Love

_Location_: The Infirmary Wing, Hogwarts, A School of Witchcraft and Wizardry  
_Date_: Christmas Eve, 2000  
  
It was the night before Christmas but there would be no happy and joyous Yuletide celebrations this year for the Potters and for family and friends close to the Potters. This would be a sad and miserable Christmas thanks to certain revelations and a life-threatening event that nearly cost the life of someone many people loved and adored.  
  
With shoulders heavy with sorrow and guilt; 'The Boy Who Lived' who grew to be 'The Man Who Faced and Triumphed Over He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named', - to become the most famous of all Wizards of the Age, - Harry Potter, slowly made his way down the long sterile hospital corridor to room seven.  
  
With built up anticipation Harry slowly pushed open the door to find the petite shape of his best friend and wife resting peacefully in the narrow single bed. Wordlessly, he made his careful approach to her side and released a long breath he wasn't aware of holding when he took in the sight of bruises and cuts marring her beautiful face, there were bandages on her hands and arms. One bandage particularly was secured around her neck where the blade and deeply sliced itself into.  
  
Falling gradually to his knees Harry reached out to gently take her hand, hesitating at first to touch her in case he would cause her more pain. Merlin knew he had already hurt her more than enough these past few months and Merlin knew also how very sorry he was for his actions. If only he had access to a time-turner would he have gone back and fixed all this.  
  
But he would make it all up to her and more. He will make her see that he loved her, always had even though for a time he had been blind, a blinded fool he had been.  
  
-- **Flashback to the Previous Night** --  
  
In one of the high towers of Hogwarts, A School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, three people were in a battle, one kept fighting for her freedom, one was doing everything in his power to keep his love alive and the other was struggling to keep hold of her fantasy.  
  
"LET HER GO!" Harry shouted. "I'M WARNING YOU NATALIE! LET HER GO!"  
  
"NO! Not until this KNOW-IT-ALL gets it through her thick skull that YOU DON'T LOVE HER!" Holding the blade to her capture's neck the blonde spat out scathingly. "HE NEVER LOVED YOU! Where did you honestly believe YOUR HUSBAND WAS those nights he never came home to you? AND to THINK THAT YOU! YOU were the top student in OUR year!"  
  
"Natalie! NO!" Harry screamed as he saw his wife wince as Natalie pushed the blade into her throat, piercing the skin with a small cut. "This has NOTHING to do with HER! Just let her go, PLEASE!"  
  
"My sweet soft hearted Harry. This has EVERYTHING to do with HER! She WON'T let you GO! I know exactly the type of WITCH SHE IS HARRY! Needy! Manipulative! CRUEL! Don't you see? She'll never let you be with me. But don't worry my love, it all ends here – TONIGHT! ... SHIT!" Natalie momentarily lost footing from the shock of something striking hard into the side of her face and nose. That something, being the elbow of Harry's wife. "God DAMN it! You STUPID cow!" Natalie brought her hand gingerly to her face to find it half covered in blood. "You'll pay for that you BITCH!"  
  
Natalie ran and tackled the recently free woman to the ground; the knife Natalie had held fell free from her grasp but was only inches away from the wrestling pair. "HARRY LOVES ME!" The crazed blonde repeatedly screamed. "ME! ME! ME! HARRY LOVES ME!"  
  
"GET OFF HER!" As much as he tried, the powerful wizard quickly discovered that not even he could overcome the strong binding spell that his psychotic lover had thrown at him. His wand had long ago been lost.  
  
"What was that sweetheart?" Natalie chuckled insanely. "I'm a little busy at the moment. You're wife is proving to be a real pain in the arse. Ooof!" Natalie's head snapped back by another powerful blow to the head. "Why won't you _die?_"  
  
"When I break FREE NATALIE you'll WISH we NEVER MET!" Merlin knew he never spoke truer words. For in that moment he regretted it with a heavy heart for tangling himself in an illicit affair that would undoubtedly cost him his whole world.  
  
"AHH!" Natalie was none too gently shoved away. The smaller woman Natalie had lost her hold on did a back handspring to right her foothold and ran to reclaim her lost wand. "Who knew the bookworm had fighting skills?" Natalie sneered.  
  
"Yeah, well this bookworm has a lot of skills." Aiming her wand. "Want a demonstration?"  
  
Even though her voice was scratchy because of the bruising hold Natalie had had on her throat; to hear fighting words come from his wife's mouth gave Harry a tremendous wave of relief and a huge amount of pride.  
  
"And yet, as skilled as you claim to be as a witch, we both know you aren't skilled at being a woman, especially where it counts, say, in the bedroom." If looks could kill the blonde would be dead by now by both the wife and husband. "After all, your husband did go elsewhere to find the right woman who could cater to his every need, and sweetie, he has one Hell of an insatiable appetite. Isn't that right Harry luv?" Natalie said silkily.  
  
"SHUT UP!" Harry roared.  
  
"The things we did to each other. The countless of places we'd go to fuck each other's brains out. Once, we even did it in your marriage bed. Do you know the position he took me while we were in your bed?"  
  
"SHUT YOUR MOUTH!" Harry looked desperately at his wife who had suddenly grown stony and pale.  
  
"Is that true Harry? In our very own bed?" The bravado of fighting for her life had vanished after hearing those vindictive words.  
  
"NO! NEVER!" He shook his head adamantly. "I wouldn't do that to you. She's lying. BELIEVE ME!"  
  
"Believe you?" She whispered, amazed. Forgetting the perilous situation she was in she rounded angrily on her husband, aiming her wand at him. "HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY ASK ME TO DO THAT HARRY?"  
  
"I...I...."  
  
"FOR MONTHS YOU'VE BEEN LYING TO ME! WILLINGLY BETRAYING OUR WEDDING VOWS WE EACH WROTE ESPECIALLY FOR EACH OTHER! AND YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO ASK ME TO BELIEVE YOU?"  
  
"I...I...."  
  
"I don't understand Harry. WHY?"  
  
"I...I...LOOK OUT! NO!!!" Harry watched helplessly as his wife, who had been caught off guard, fell limply to the ground clutching at her neck as blood spurted out. "GOD! _NO!!!_"  
  
"YES! We did it love!" Natalie threw her blood-covered instrument to the gritty floor of the tower. The blonde began crowing gloriously like a peacock. "We won! We're free!"  
  
Abruptly, Harry began breathing in short gasps. It was as though he was having an asthmatic attack. However, something fierce was building up inside him. Something that had lain dormant since his days of warring with Voldemort had ended. It was ... desire ... desire, to cause unending carnage.  
  
Harry quickly broke free from Natalie's binding spell as though it had been rubber bands holding him back. He stalked like a lion hunting his prey; his eyes shone a deep green in the moonlit tower as he watched the dancing blonde.  
  
"Are you not proud of me luv?" Natalie smiled sweetly, slowly circling her hips in time to a soundless tune. Few moments later Natalie frowned in honest confusion, why wasn't he praising her or falling at her feet? "I hope I didn't wound your male ego Harry. But I did it for us. Are you mad at me for the spell I did and getting rid of your wand? I know it wasn't nice of me but I just didn't want you end up hurting yourself." She shrugged. "Besides it was fun." Natalie, not realising the danger she was in threw herself into her lover's body. "Why won't you say something?" When he didn't bring his arms around her she stepped back. "Harry what's wrong? Why won't you hold me?"  
  
"Fun?" He whispered edgily. "You call this fun?"  
  
"Well, not really, not when you compare it with what I have in mind for us later," she winked. "I know you love to see me in that leather catsuit so I thoug-_T__PH!_" Natalie was cut off from Harry's strong grip on her windpipe.  
  
"FUN?! YOU INSANE BITCH! I TOLD YOU TO STAY AWAY FROM MY WIFE! BUT YOU COULDN'T DO THAT! I MAY HAVE FUCKED YOU SILLY THESE LAST FEW MONTHS BUT WHAT POSSESSED YOU TO THINK THAT I'D EVER LEAVE MY WIFE? MY BEST FRIEND FOR TRASH SUCH AS YOU?!" He had her off the ground, her feet kicking madly as he crushed her windpipe, he could smell and see the fear and he revelled in it. "NOW! THIS is what I consider FUN Natalie. Watching your eyes bulge out from the lack of oxygen. I bet you're now wishing you never _screwed_ the famous Harry Potter."  
  
"STOP THIS MADNESS AT ONCE MR POTTER!"  
  
Harry cast a glance to his left to see Professor Snape had entered the tower. "Leave Snape." He warned.  
  
"I will do no such thing. Release Miss Cross Mr Potter."  
  
"Or what Snape? You think you're capable to stop me from killing her?" He stared dangerously at Natalie to see hope reflecting in her eyes of being saved. "You really think he can stop _me_ from killing you, that he has that _power?_"  
  
Harry smiled cruelly when Natalie's hope faded. She was _going_ to die.  
  
"As often as you think of me being stupid Potter," Snape remarked dryly. "I am not. My magic would be useless against you so I'd rather save my energy. But I will ask you this _Potter_, what is more important here? Expending your energy towards killing the woman who has caused much pain tonight, but only because _you_ couldn't keep 'it' in your pants, or using your energy and power to save the life of the woman who has owned your heart since you were a teenage boy?"  
  
Natalie gave a small cry at being unceremoniously discarded. Badly shaken and roughed up, the tall leggy blonde dragged as much air as she possibly could through her pert mouth. Apprehensively, she watched her fantasy fade out of existence. Ice cold realisation hits her. She had been nothing but a roll in the hay to the _great_ Harry Potter.  
  
Several emotions swam behind her blue eyes: love, jealousy, regret and fear. But one stood out clear as crystal - _hate_. She watched as he went to his wife; all traces of the crazed out-for-her-blood Harry becoming extinct as he neared his dying wife.  
  
Gently, protectively and tenderly he gathers her in his arms; a brilliant green mist embraces the two and quick as a flash they were both gone; but faintly the words Harry vocalised to his wife could be heard. "Don't you _dare_ die on me Hermione."  
  
-- **End of Flashback** --  
  
"I don't know what I would have done if I lost you Hermione." Tears were now running free as he bowed his head, gently bringing her hand, that was being held between his two larger ones, to his lips, caressing it with small soft kisses. "I [_kiss_] love [_kiss_] you [_kiss_] so [_kiss_] much [_kiss_] Hermione [_kiss_] Jane [_kiss_] Potter [_kiss_]. And I promise you that from this day onward I will make sure you know it." Quietly, Christmas bells could be heard ringing. "Happy Christmas my love."  
  
-- _To be continued_ --

* * *


	3. Shouldn't I Be Happy To Still Be Alive?

  
_Location_: The Infirmary Wing, Hogwarts, A School of Witchcraft and Wizardry  
_Date_: The Day After Christmas, 2000  
  
Jerked awake by the loud shouts outside her door, Hermione Potter cringed, not knowing whether it was because of the pain she was in or because she had just heard her father call her husband an 'adulterous asshole'.  
  
In reply, she heard Harry yell, "Yeah, well after so many years it looks like we may finally have something in common, _Dad!_"  
  
"You son of a bitch!"  
  
Hermione closed her eyes again at what she could vision, her father pummelling her husband to the floor only to see Harry giving it right back.  
  
"They've been arguing like that since we arrived," a soft voice announced.  
  
"Mom?" Hermione sounded only to hear nothing. She frowned in confusion as she made several attempts, yet failed.  
  
"Shh, don't stress yourself. The healers calculated that you won't be able to speak for awhile not until your voice box has enough time to heal." Hermione shot her mother, Diana Granger, a petite woman in her early forties with short greying hair and brown eyes, a frustrated glare, thinking '_how long is awhile?_'  
  
"How are you feeling darlin'?" Her mother asked as she began to fuss around her bedside, arranging and then re-arranging the vase of flowers that she had brought for the purpose of brightening the stony wall decor. 

_'Well that's a loaded, at the same time pointless question don't you think?' _Hermione bitterly thought._ 'In any case, I've only discovered that my husband who is also my very best friend in the world cheated on me, then two nights ago Harry's psycho mistress tried to kill me, my throat has been hacked to pieces and I may never be able to speak again. How in Hades am I suppose to perform magic if I can't bloody well say the spells? But back to your question, if you ignore my gripes, everything is bloody peachy with me. How 'bout you?'_

Diana sat herself on the bed, giving her daughter a small smile. "Your Aunt Helena sends her love and hopes you have a very speedy recovery. Your cousin Denise sends her best wishes and wants you to go visit her in the States as soon as you heal. Cousin Thomas sent tickets for the Opera to your father and I, I'm sure if I asked he could send a third one for you, oh...and one for Harry." 

_'Why mother are you giving the impression that I have any close bond with any of them? Aunt Helena considers me 'too outspoken', Denise says to all that knows her that her cousin Hermione Granger is a 'freakish geek' and Cousin Thomas has tried to 'make the moves' on me on more than one occasion, not that he isn't attractive, but Merlins' sake we're cousins! Anyway, how the Hell do they know I'm in hospital?__'_

"Of course, I had to embellish the truth a bit as to why you are in hospital. So I said that you were in a car crash." Seeing her daughter's expression. "Oh for Heaven's sakes Hermione I had to say something believable when news reached us about you being hurt during a Christmas function, _where_ your father and I were surrounded by family, close friends and clients. People talk you know, so I was not about to indulge them all in some home truths. Can you imagine if they knew? Gossipers the whole lot of them. Oh, you will never guess what I've heard about Julia and Peter Stone's older son Jeremy…I always knew something wasn't right with that boy…." Hermione closed her eyes hoping that her mother would think she fell asleep and leave. Why was it so much easier for her mother to talk about other people's affairs than trying to have a decent conversation with her own daughter? "Lots of planning to do Hermione…lunches…New Years parties…will be a huge success since I'll be in charge…."

Don't I feel loved? Husband beds another woman who then thinks has the right to kill me, father and son-in-law are outside in the corridor punching it up rather than showing any type of compassion or concern about my wellbeing. And mummy-dear, always the social butterfly still has time to gossip and plan get-togethers even when her only child's hospitalised. Voldemort showed more thoughtfulness towards me when he captured me, near the end of sixth year. An evil and a sadistic bastard he was but at least I was the centre of attention. Merlin how I want to scream.'

"Hermione Jane Granger, do not screw your face in that way, it does not complement your looks. Now, that's better, you have such fine bone structure. But darlin', your hair...."  
  
_'ARRRGGHHHH!!!'  
_  
"Hermione!" The door to her room flew open, practically coming off its hinges. "Are you okay? What happened?" Hermione curiously watched as her husband rushed to her side, followed by her father. "I-I heard you screaming."  
  
_'Why am I relieved to see you Harry, even though you hurt me so?'_  
  
"Harry," her mother chided. "Hermione did no such thing, have you forgotten how Madam Pomfrey said she wouldn't have good use of her vocal cords for some time, besides it's a very unladylike way to behave."  
  
_'Mother, I nearly died and you're talking about etiquette?'_  
  
Harry gently clasped her hand, searching for signs of pain. "Are you sure that there's nothing I can do for you? I could get Madam Pomfrey in here to ease any pain you maybe experiencing."  
  
"I'm sure if my daughter is in any pain Potter it's because you insist on remaining here."  
  
_'Good one daddy. Mum, why don't you remind him what good manners are?'_  
  
"I told you Charlie-_boy_ that I'm not going anywhere."  
  
_'Charlie-boy? Merlin Harry, you know he hates you calling him that.'  
_  
"And get your mitts off my daughter before I do it myself, and don't blame me if I break a few fingers in the process."  
  
"I'd like to see you try."  
  
"I was a champion wrestler during my university days, Potter."  
  
"Yeah? Well I took on a Dark Lord."  
  
_'I'd like a potion now...me wanna go bye-bye...into dreamland where there are no cheating husbands wanting to deck the Hell out of his reformed adulterous father-in-law. Mum say something.'_  
  
But Hermione knew her mother wouldn't do anything to stop them. It wasn't a lady's place to question the actions of her man. No matter how _idiotic_ they were behaving. She often wondered if that old school principle, was what helped her mother cope with her father's wandering eye?  
  
"A man does what a man does Hermione," she recalled her mother telling her. "As women, it is not our place to cast judgement. After they get it all out of their system, they always return home to their family, to people he truly loves. Lust, that's all its about. It's always been like that. That is why my marriage to your father is still so strong after 20 years. Unlike the Marshall or Williams marriages, Bertha and Cynthia were too fragile."  
  
'_Or smart_,' Hermione thought, remembering how the two divorces were thought scandalous amidst her mother's circle who later ousted both women and yet remained on good terms with the cheating husbands. Hermione didn't understand the logic. '_Why stay in a loveless marriage and be miserable for the rest of your life because that was what was expected by your inner circle?_'  
  
_'But what about my inner circle with Ron, Ginny, Neville, Luna and the rest of the Weasley family? Will they just expect me to accept what happened and move on like it wasn't a big deal?'_  
  
She could only imagine... 

"Hermione," Ron would say. "Harry's my bloody best friend. I was his friend first. Sure, he made a mistake but everyone does. Like that time in your sixth year potion class, you told me that when Snape set the task to produce a regenerating potion he gave you an 'F' because you had mistaken the tortoise shell for turtle. A simple mistake, everyone does make them once or twice in their lifetime. Have a heart. After all, Harry did bloody save the world."

Then Ginny would have a go. "Hermione. Harry was my first crush. He saved me in my first year at Hogwarts. I have a lot of things in common with him like our mutual love for Quidditch. Put this incident behind you and be thankful for being the most envied witch in the world."  
  
"Boo-hoo. Harry cheated on you. It really pales in comparison to like how the population of '_The Crackle Shizbot_' has alarmingly decreased this year. By the way, thank Harry for his large contribution towards my cause '_Saving the Pede-Pillars_' - a generous man your husband." Hermione rolled her eyes at _that _image in her head. She had never been close to Luna anyhow so she could be on Harry's side for all she cared.  
  
Hell, what would _Mrs Weasley_ say? "Well, Hermione-_dear_ it was nice knowing you and all. But if you and Harry are no longer together then there is no point for us to remain in contact. Harry-_dear_, tea is ready. I really must feed that boy he's far too skinny. You know where the door is, show yourself out, that's a good girl. Come along Harry-_dear_, eat up."  
  
_'Well stuff the lot of them!'_ Hermione thought bitterly._ 'I still have Crookshanks. Although the way that blasted cat rubs herself against Harry and favours his lap more...that rotten fur ball!'  
_  
"I'm this far away from punching you in the nose!"  
  
"I'm this far away from turning you into a frog! I'm a wizard and wizard's do that."  
  
"I'm-."  
  
"ENOUGH!" Both men turned to face the onslaught of one furious Madam Pomfrey. "I will not allow this squabbling to continue. Get out."  
  
"Now see here, I will not leave my daughter alone with him."  
  
"She's my bloody wife! If someone has the right to stay it's me!"  
  
"Over my dead body!"  
  
"That can be arranged!"  
  
"I said ENOUGH! Let me make myself clear Mr Granger. When I said get out, I wasn't addressing it to you," seeing the pleased look on his face. "_Alone_. My words were directed to both you and Mr Potter."  
  
"But-." Both men began.  
  
"Mrs Potter does not need nor I imagine want to witness further hostilities being tossed back and forth between the two of you. Especially, when she herself is at a disadvantage of silencing you two with a helpful '_Stupefy_'."  
  
"What if we promise to behave?" Harry pleaded.  
  
"No. She needs her rest," turning. "I'm afraid you will need to leave as well Mrs Granger."  
  
"Quite all right Madam Pomfrey." Hermione couldn't help but notice her mother looked quite relieved as she waved goodbye. She never did like being around sick people.

"You get better soon _poppet_. Your mother and I will come visit you in the next week or two since we're tied up with that Golf Charity Tournament and other social functions."

"Nice to see you _do_ truly care about your daughter Charlie-_boy_," Harry ribbed as Hermione's father took his leave.  
  
"Mr Ronald Weasley is outside waiting to talk with you Mr Potter." Madam Pomfrey turned to address her patient. "He wanted to see you dear but I had to be firm about visiting hours being over. But he can come back later tonight if you feel up to it."  
  
"Maybe I can join him?" Harry voiced hopefully, shuffling nervously back and forth. "Bring a few presents with me, maybe?"  
  
_'You look so lost Harry. So unsure...sad and so scared. That's how I'm feeling too. Where do we go from here? I so want to get out of this bed and go up to you and scratch out your cheating eyes 'til your blind. But then, I want you to come back here and bring me the biggest present there is underneath our Christmas tree.'  
_  
Harry bent over and pecked her softly on her forehead, whispering. "I promise Hermione, the biggest present."  
  
_'How? Are you reading my mind Harry?'  
_  
"Rest love. I'll see you later." Hermione watched as he left without another word. Although, she could swear that she heard him say something along the lines of, '_better get it over with – I'm in for the arse kicking of my life._'  
  
"Well, dear your vital signs look good. You are indeed on the road to making a full recovery although being without speech I'm afraid you'll have to get use. But that will just be for a little while. Need time to heal your vocal chords do."  
  
_'Again. How long is a little while? A week...month...year?'_  
  
"Now that I've examined you physically and happy to report that you are alive. With the use of your fingers of your right hand, from 1 to 5, 1 being excellent and 5 being poor. How are you feeling, emotionally?"  
  
_'How would you rate me if I told you that emotionally, I don't know whether or not to be happy to still be alive?'  
_  
-- _To be continued_ --

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-- thanks to both Chio and waru waru for their reviews. -- 


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